Infidelity is in the news – big time.
As a result of the recent Ashley Madison hack, thousands are waking up to find their spouse believes it’s alright to seek a quick, romantic fling on the side.
I know how that feels. It was my husband’s infidelity that ended my first marriage. In the trauma of the ensuing divorce, I made a vow never to expose myself to such suffering again. It would be far easier (or so I thought) to remain celibate – simply no more involved relationships!
But I was in for a surprise. Soon after making that personal declaration I met a man who made it completely understandable to me why 35 million people were discovered to be Ashely Madison subscribers. After our first date I felt eager to toss my new vow aside.
But that wasn’t the only feeling I had. There was simultaneously a nagging sense that something was wrong. So while I didn’t for a moment consider canceling our second date, I did decide to spend the afternoon before it trying to get back my sunny, carefree disposition.
At the time, I was in the middle of reading through Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures whose message of everyone’s innate spiritual self-worth gave me a basis for that joyful disposition. Reading the book always left me feeling peaceful. The author, Mary Baker Eddy, also had a marriage that ended in divorce after 20 years due to infidelity – just like mine. I thought reading her ideas would be the perfect way to restore my equanimity.
Thankfully, the book did restore my peace of mind but it also did more than that. As I read, I had a warm tangible sense of being blanketed with an unconditional love – a love that didn’t require someone’s presence to prompt it.
We did have that second date, but my previous hope of taking the relationship to the “next level” was soon superseded by an instinctive recognition that I should stop seeing him. At a chance meeting five years later I found out those instincts were spot on. He told me that he had been living with another woman when I had declined going to a hotel with him on our second and last meeting.
I’m grateful for that date. It led me to uncover the love that I truly desired, which I felt during that afternoon of reading. That feeling of being valued and whole stayed with me. I’m reminded of Jesus saying,”…neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more.” I wish the same for all Ashley Madison subscribers and their spouses.
Perhaps the Ashley Madison hack will help others similarly turn from “looking for love in all the wrong places” to finding the satisfaction of knowing they are deeply, divinely loved.